The loosely strung-together story turns on the ghoulish adventures of Arthur Blake (Dominic Monaghan from “Lost”), trained at the crooked knee of Willie Grimes (Mr. Fessenden). Having been sentenced to death for murder, Arthur confesses his sins to a priest in piecemeal flashback. Played by the son for the Satan himself, Hellboy star Ron Perlman is no ordinary priest, as we realize from the moment we witness him kick a homeless man in the gut on the way into the holding cell. Arthur’s troubles began, he explains, when he and Willie started disinterring troublesome corpses, like the one with the stake in her heart. Deciding she would fetch a better price if she didn’t look like an appetizer, Willie tugs out the stake. She attacks. He thrusts it back in. She quiets down. He pulls it out, and so it goes, as the Hammeresque shivers give way to Abbott and Costello-style slapstick.
This scene in particular is very 'Evil Dead' style, and you'll find other small homages to several other cult horror favorites through-out. Under a heavy Hammer horror influence, the sets are full of eerie gothic decor - set in a thick constant fog - providing great atmosphere for such a low budget picture. And, like any film following under a mentor such as Hammer studios, it's crawling with undead monstrosities - zombies, vampires, hideously deformed psychos, and even aliens - 'I Sell the Dead' is packed with all sorts of ghouls. When I picked this up at the video store, I couldn't wait to find out what I was in for. I figured with a line up like this I could be in for either one hell of a ride, or I'd end up sitting through 1&1/2 hours of pure nonsense once again. Guess which one.
To no surprise, 'I Sell the Dead' was just another cheeseball horror/comedy that wasn't scary nor funny enough to be fondly remembered by. Now, I didn't hate this movie mind you. It's not a complete waste of your time, for some parts are actually worth the watch. A film about a pair of down on their luck grave robbers who stumble upon all sorts of trouble when unearthing these strange corpses is a great idea for a movie. Sounds like a unique buddy film to me, with a nice little horrific twist. But alas, like many other films such as this, it sounds much better on paper.
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